Repententance & Ecstacy – A Lenten Reflection
February 26, 2009

A very high percentage of Pastors Kids end up falling away from faith. Some forever, some for a period of time after which they reluctantly come back because they would feel it a crime to keep their kids from the transcendence which they had experienced as a child.
The pressure can be pretty tough. You are expected to be perfect in all that you do. Having been raised in a small town, even people who don’t go to my church knew that I was a Pastor’s kid, and I was supposed to be different. Your zeal for God must be greater and more steady than the rank-and-file youth in the Youth Group. It is assumed you will be a leader of some sort whether in worship or prayer or whatever.
I was a sort of Renaissance PK. From when I was 15 I was “leading worship” for the Youth Group. I led prayer and bible study groups and I was the model of a holiness/pentecostal: I never swore, I never drank, I never smoked and I didn’t sleep around. Like Paul, I could (and did – in my head) say that I was “blameless” as goes the law. I don’t suppose that if I had ever been asked I would have said I was a “good” Christian, but I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t a little bit judgemental of Christians who weren’t as “good as me”.
Especially those Catholics and Lutherans with their drinking and un-evangelical way of talking about faith. All that “confirmation” and “eucharist,” sounds like idol worship to me, but whatever.
After high school I joined a “discipleship program” that the Assemblies has called “Master’s Commission.” I would describe it, but it is difficult to do, and I don’t much like to talk about those “lost years” of mine. Though, ironically, my experiences in this program were to forever change me.
One of the most intense moments of change was when a group of us took a trip down to Urbana Illinois to do “street witnessing” on the college campus there. There were several hundred people who gathered from various places around the country and we converged on the campus en masse. (Perhaps another day I can describe how all my “street witnessing” changed my idea of evangelism, but we’ll save that one) After a day of attempting to convince random college kids that they were destined for hell we would re-assemble at a local church and have good ole’ fashioned holy ghost services.
On one particular night the service focused on “repentance.” During the “altar time” people began to spontaneously confess their sins out loud to the congregation – Describing Pentecostal worship to those who have never partaken is rather like attempting to describe an alien world. Let’s just say that it is several hours of increasing emotional intensity. Though that is not entirely fair, it’s not pure “emotionalism;” but the senses are very involved and one does not need to pass everything over a “reasonableness-meter.” It is transcendent. – I was one who confessed aloud if you will; after which my pastor laid hands on me and began to pray.
I sort of “faked” being “slain in the Spirit” (where one falls down and lies semi-concious on the floor) once when I was a kid. I felt the need to sort of “be spiritual.” But I had since sworn off on the phenomenon. Over the years I had become increasingly uncomfortable with the more overt Pentecostal phenomenon. But on this night, without provocation, I felt weak after my pastor began to pray for me. I “fell back” and was laid out on my back. Lying there was sort of like being in a dream. I was able to see and sense all that was going on around me, but my mind was incredibly focused.
Though not audibly, but with that kind clarity, I was overwhelmed by a “voice,” but it wasn’t a voice.
(here I wish I had the ability of St. John of the Cross to poetically describe the experience, but I sort of suck at writing so bear with me). However one describes it I fel two very intense feelings simultaneously. I was, for the first time I can remember, completely aware of my sin. Perhaps I didn’t swear and drink, but I was filled with pride and arrogance. I almost felt like I was being shown a laundry list of my own sinfullness. Yet, at the same time, sort of like a flood of water over and around me, but warm and not wet, I was keenly aware of being unconditionally loved with a steadfast and indescribable fidelity.
From that day a lifetime of self-righteousness began to slowly chip away. It’s not done yet! But I know that had I not understood the need to be repentant, I could not love God or love my neighbor, or know that I was loved by God. Sometimes I had heard people speak this way before I had this experience and I would think that they just needed to live in grace. But it seems to me that the two are interconnected.
Receiving and living by grace is inseparable from a life of repentance, without which it is impossible not to judge others.
Repentance has had the effect of constantly reminding me how dependent I am and ever renews and restores right-relationship to God and my fellow Christian.
I hope not that a reader might get some sort of cliche mini-sermon attatched to a story, like some new seminary grad strategicaly using a story to communicate something other than the thrust of the narrative. In the end, the story of that night, of repentence, was the only thing that prepared me for new life, and I imagine that this prepared me to better appreciate Lent. This is in fact the first time I have ever actually taken on a “holy lent,” and I look forward to it.
Lenten Reflections: Ash Wednesday, Jonah and Little Furry Things
February 25, 2009

One of the readings for today, Ash Wednesday, according to the Book of Common Prayer’s Daily Office Reading (Year 1), is Jonah 3:1-4:11.
When I opened my Bible up to Jonah this morning, I hadn’t read it since high school (I kind of had a hard time finding it this morning but it was before I had had any coffee). In high school, I deeply cared about whether the book was historically true or not; this, I think, obscured the incredible literary, theological and devotional aspects of this fascinating book, so I’m not going to talk about that. Rather, I was reminded how beautiful and meaningful it can be to read a passage of Scripture with new eyes, and I want to mention a few things about Jonah that I’ve never thought about before.
One thing that struck me about the last two chapters of Jonah is that they have much in common with, and provide an interesting counterpoint to the book of Job (another OT book that I’ve been studying lately). In Job you have a righteous man who suffers at the hand of God, and this leads him (and the reader) to have some honest questions about the justice of God. In Jonah you have a man who experiences mercy at the hand of God, and then observes God being merciful to the sinful and “violent” Ninevites, which leads him to have some questions about the justice of God. Both Job and Jonah want to die because of their encounter, of course in Job 3, you get the sense that Job wants to die because he’s in pain, whereas apparently Jonah wants to die because he’s having an crisis of faith. In God’s outright forgiveness of the Ninevites, He did something that his long time servant felt was out of His character. Jonah is suddenly confused about the nature of the God whom he serves. Is that why he wants to die? Or does want to die simply because he’s upset at God for making him do something he didn’t want to do?
In other words, is he doubting what he believes about the character of God, or is he just throwing a hissy-fit, 3 year-old style?
In any event, the entire passage is about repentance, which of course is why it is a Lenten reading. There’s even a mention of 40 days–the period of time the Ninevites have before God smites them. As a result of Jonah’s reluctant obedience, the Ninevites come to radical repentance; all the inhabitants of Ninevah, even the livestock, go through a ritual of repentance that includes sackcloth, ashes and fasting! Because of this God also repents, that is, changes his mind about the calamities he was planning to send their way (in the NRSV), or as the KJV has it, God repents from the evil he was planning to do to them. Everyone changes their mind…except Jonah. Which leads me to an epiphanous (note: the liturgical irony) and mystical interpretation of this story in relation to Lent: Jonah is like a recalcitrant Evangelical who refuses to acknowledge Lent as a time of repentance and reflection because he is confused about the nature of God! It’s so clear. I know that’s the conclusion Thomas Cranmer wanted me to draw from today’s BCP reading.
Another interesting thing about this book that I’ve never noticed before is the emphasis placed on the animals. Not only do the Ninevites repent, dress in sackcloth and sit in ashes, but their animals do the same (3:8-9). How bizarre! Maybe even more interesting is how abruptly the book ends with God asking Jonah the rhetorical question in verse 11, “And should I not concerned with Ninevah…in which there are 120,000 persons…and and also many animals?” It’s a very strange way to end the book.
Apparently it was not uncommon for animals to be involved in rites of repentance and mourning. According to Raymond Dillard’s Introduction to the Old Testament, Herodotus mentions animals engaging in similar rites in his day. Judith 4:10 describes an entire household: men, women, children, slaves, and livestock engaging in repentance rituals.
The fact that God mentions the animals along with the people of Ninevah means that He is concerned about them. Could one draw the conclusion that it was not just the people’s repentance that changed the mind of God but the animal’s repentance also? This passage made me suddenly realize that God really does have an abiding concern for animals. Why is that? What exactly are the status of animals with God? He seems to suggest that Jonah is a selfish and cruel bastard for wishing condemnation on not just Ninevites but also all their animals. Maybe, just maybe, God is concerned about the way humanity thinks about and treats animals (then there’s all of that stuff in Genesis about being stewards of the planet and all the animals, but since Genesis is only about proving evolution to be false, I’m sure it has nothing to do with this theological question).
What about in Acts 10 when Cornelius and “his entire household” fear God and eventually are baptized. I have long thought that given the many nuances of the Greek word for household that that term could conceivablely include small children and even infants, but I wonder if his animals feared God, and got baptized as well?
Hmm. Maybe St. Francis of Assisi and all those Episcopal churches that do animal blessings aren’t so crazy after all.

HEADLINE: “Movie Stars Give Themselves Awards For Being Famous”
February 23, 2009

HOLLYWOOD, CA – All eyes were on Hollywood Sunday night as the world’s biggest stars got together to celebrate how awesome they are. The action started early on the red carpet as famous people paraded around in expensive things other famous people designed for them to wear. ACTRESS WOMAN was stunning in a sort of a red thing that slung around her waist aquatically that had a few sparkles on it.
“My dress was designed by DESIGNER BRAND,” she told reporters. “I love it and thank you so much for caring whether or not I look fabulous in it. All of you at home should probably do something about orphans in Africa.”
The excitement continued inside when all the famous people and nearly-famous people got together to laugh at each other’s jokes.
“We’re all very beautiful and reporters write about us in magazines,” said ANNOUNCER GUY dryly, “but then we get angry when they include things about our personal lives,” came the punch line to uproarious applause.
MOODY BIG ISSUE MOVIE stole the show this year with an amazing eight nominations and four little man statues. Accepting the award for best something-or-other, BIG SHOT SUNGLASSES DUDE thanked all his favorite cliches and then said a shocking statement so it could be replayed on youtube for the next few weeks.
Underdog SOBBING GIRL was very surprised to find herself being handed a statue for being both beautiful and able to say lines fed to her while standing in front of a camera. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house as everyone pretended to be happy for her.
ANNOUNCER GUY gave a surprise life-time achievement award to all of Hollywood for providing America with such sound fashion and political advice for so many years. He also offered this word of encouragement to all his fellow movie stars,
“Don’t worry Hollywood, all those boring people who live between California and New York will see the light soon enough.”
The only downer of the night was the slightly preachy winner of the documentary statue which the producers had wisely buried into the middle of the show when most people were probably going to the bathroom anyway. He humbly accepted his award before asking all too poignantly, “Come on guys, are we really that big of a deal?”
The highlight of the magical evening came during a surprisingly moving speech from statue winner CLASSY GUY WHO CARES ABOUT IMPORTANT STUFF who launched into an emotional plea for International Oppression Rights of America.
“Tonight I’m going to be drinking champagne into the early morning with other famous people while the rest of America has to go work tomorrow. Who will be there to help the rights of those who need an advocate? Who will take a passing interest in real issues merely because I’m famous and told you to? Who will be there? Will you be there? Because I promise to go on making movies about being there.”
The speech was so amazing that everyone remarked about it later.
All involved agreed that Hollywood Statue Night was a great success. In comparison to these fascinatingly beautiful people our lives are probably quite dull, and it’s very nice of them to put on a little show for us so we can have something to talk about at the office tomorrow.
Want some candy, little kid?
February 21, 2009

Had the strangest experience today. I was taking a walk with my wife and daughter when I noticed a little boy, apparently walking down the street all by himself. Julia and I, as well as several other pedestrians, couldn’t help but look after him again and again to see if he was catching up with someone, or if he was just going back to his nearby yard. After he’d listlessly covered half a block, I got this sinking feeling that if we didn’t make sure everything was cool, this could easily be one of those things we’d see on tomorrow’s evening news.
Top story: Missing child, pleading parents, a poorly enlarged family photo, a tiny reward and little hope. I didn’t want to be the guy to call in and say, “Well, yeah… we saw him just walking along,” then have to explain why we let him go on alone.
Needless to say we decided to turn back and catch up with him.
His name was Jordan, he was four years old and he didn’t know his last name or address. I’m not sure how much I knew as a four year old, so I’m not judging or anything, just stating the facts. When we asked if he knew what direction his house was, he didn’t want to answer, nor did he really respond to many other questions at first, he just kept meandering in the same general direction. At the same time, I didn’t get the sense he’d been taught not to talk to strangers, just that he was upset. When we asked where he was going, he shrugged, so I asked why he left.
“Cause no one’s there,” he replied.
“No one, not even a baby sitter?”
“No, and I threw up in the bathtub.”
“Oh…” I was stunned, I needed time to think.
He stopped for a moment, said “I’m going to get chocolate.” And he said it quite matter-of-factly, as if we could come if we wanted, but that’s what he’d decided to do.
So we went along. Julia and I walked with him to the store another block away and bought him a Reese’s to keep in one general area long enough for the police to show up and sort it all out, and that’s sort of what scared me.
All my wife and I had to do to get this four-year-old to hang out and talk for a few minutes was buy him a Reese’s. As evasive as he’d acted in response to any other questions we asked, candy was all it took to hold his attention. We found out more and more about him once we’d earned that trust.
I couldn’t help looking at my own daughter, four months old in the stroller, and worrying already that someday she might wander off, even for a moment, and some stranger with worse intentions might run off with her. I mean, we’d certainly never leave her home alone, but just the idea of how easy it was to gain this child’s trust was staggering.
By the time the police were there, Jordan was interested enough in the squad car to stay put. If you think candy holds a kids attention, try showing them police-issue riot gear. He was enamored. It also sounded like the officer was comparing his appearance to a description they’d just received for a missing child, so at least his parents were finally home. Part of me hoped the officer would have a stern word for the parents, but another part of me wondered how worried the parents had been, how long they’d known their boy was gone, and how relieved they would feel seeing him again.
Now, I don’t feel like trying to make some spiritual point out of all this. I’ll leave that to all you read-between-the-lines types. But I feel like this totally changed something in me. Maybe the way I look at parenting. Well… obviously the way I look at parenting, that only makes sense. But there’s something else, something I can’t quite put my finger on. Maybe it just struck a chord with me that we might have been the one thing between this child and a real creep in a grey panel van another block away.
I don’t know how to wrap this up, either. I’m still a little unsettled. I know he made it home safe, but there must have been eight other people in the vicinity who were content to be curious for a moment but eventually walked away. It makes me anxious. I mean, how am I supposed to raise my daughter in a world full of people that I don’t trust to do the right thing?
International Pipe Smoking Day
February 20, 2009

Today is International Pipe Smoking Day.
Check out this article in the WSJ about twentysomethings returning to the briar.
The contriburtors on this blog and many of my friends are anecdotal evidence to support the article. My local tobacco shop has a pretty predictable clientele: males over 60 and males under 30, (with a few scattered women, mostly on the younger end.)
The original pipe weed is coming back.
Hans Kung on Crisis in Roman Catholic Church
February 19, 2009
How come he gets to preside over a Eucharist, and I can’t even take it?
Hans Kung, ever controversial, ever inspiring, has proved again that Roman Catholicism is NOT as monolithic in its theology as it tells the world it is. (sorry quickbeamofangorn) His is only one among many reactions to the recent actions of the Pope to reintegrate an ultra-conservative bishop who downplays the extent of the Holocaust.
In a recent article, Fr Kung has decried the continued actions of Pope BenedictXVI and calls on the Holy Father to look to Vatican II for guidance. Now even I don’t agree with Fr Kung on everything, but the man is one of the last in a line of powerful theologians to come out of the generative Vatican II era. The entire Christian church has been absolutely blessed by Roman Catholic thought this last century, and I hope that we can continue to be so enriched by such a glorious church.
The Evolution of Religion: Toward Religious Pluralism: Part 3
February 16, 2009

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Part 3: A Way Forward
In the first two posts of this series, I attempted to lay out a broad history and nuanced position toward the issues surrounding religious pluralism today. As has been pointed out many times before, such work is inherently arbitrary in that it seeks to limit such a broad position. None the less, I attempted this feat with one purpose in mind. My goal has been to show, as the title of my series relays, the evolution of religion. At this point, however, I feel the need, for humility’s sake, to take a step back.
In this final post of the series, I want to lay out a pragmatic approach for mankind in relation to the plurality of religion in our world today. This approach will be centered around the fostering of humility and relationship. This post will not be so focused on definitions or broad generalizations, as my first two. Concurrently, this post will be shorter than my previous two. I would like the reader to see my first two posts, as simply a doorway to step into the topic which I will attempt to breach in this post. For sure, there are many doorways one could travel through to reach this position. Some of which may be more effective than the one I have presented. I simply laid forth, as best I could, the path for which I took.
To say that religion is an ever evolving entity is by nature quite abstract and convoluted. The very term “evolution” carries with it much baggage that is inapplicable to the intent of my thesis. When one speaks of the evolution of religion, it must be understood what can and cannot be inferred in any authoritative way. First it must be fleshed out that the evolution for which I speak is in revelation of the uncontainable, not in any cultural or institutional sense. My goal is not to speak to the evolving of religious institutions, as such a task would be far beyond my abilities. Rather, it is to acknowledge the evolution of personal revelation within those who seek to understand and relate to transcendence. To be more clear, my goal is to acknowledge that mankind has always sought to better understand and relate to a God that is far beyond his reach. As such that God has continually given mankind glimpses of himself through divine sparks of revelation. It is only obvious then, that as the sum of those revelations grows, so too does the understanding man.
At this point I would like to dwell for a moment on our understanding of God. It is agreed on, in some form, by every religious tradition, that the divine experiences for which man has touched have originated from a source far above the grasp of mans conception. To put it more bluntly, every religious tradition affirms that we know very little of the infinitude that is God. In fact, I would go as far as to say that an inherent aspect of religious experience is an understanding of how minute the picture or revelation received really is. It has been said that an experience of the divine is like a drop of water in the desert. It is only meant to stir ones thirst for more. Concurrently, an experience of such, from such an undefinable source, can only itself remain undefinable. None the less, it is man’s nature to try.
This is where religion, in its institutional form, comes into play. The institution of religion places a linguistic framework around the experience to help man to define what has happened. It must be noted that this is not a negative function, but rather a necessity. Without a definition, in linguistic terms, it is quite impossible for man to form a relationship to the source of the experience. It must also be noted that religious experience is not an ever present reality. Each drop of experience relates more “truth” and must sustain the individual whom experienced it. It is the time between these experiences that one is compelled to plumb the depths of the revelation given.
The linguistic traditions, supplied by the religious institutions of man, aid the individual in their search for understanding and relationship. This distinction between religious experience and religious institutions is important. It is quite possible to make value judgments of the language for which the various religious institutions construct. Each linguistic tradition is formulated from the combined experiences of a localized group. As such, there are inherent strengths and weaknesses to each tradition. This is not to say that it is a simple task to evaluate the linguistic constructs of any religious institution. Any attempt to do so would require an in depth understanding of the people and culture for which each tradition is grounded. This is why, in my opinion, evaluation of these traditions is best left to be done from within, though there is certainly value in outside perspective.
This evaluation, however, must stop at the institutional level. To attempt to evaluate the personal religious experience of another is quite a different task. Such a task is dangerous, arrogant, and highly unproductive. It must always be remembered that the source of these experiences is far beyond the grasp of our intellectual understanding. What does this mean in a practical sense? It means that one can evaluate, for instance, the religious tradition that interpreted a divine experience as a call to violence. Via the constructs of human reasoning one can determine that such an interpretation must be an inferior linguistic traditional construct. One cannot, however, presume that the human beings that followed such a construct have received an inferior religious experience.
One might argue that this is only a semantic difference. This, however, is not the case. The pragmatic value in making this distinction is the continued realization of the inherent human vulnerability of ones own religious linguistic tradition. This is vital in the pluralistic world for which we live. It is only through humility that one can truly grasp the most of the divine.
This leads me to my final point. Religious scholar Diana Eck has said,
“Whoever knows only one religion is unlikely to understand what religion is about”
While I cannot speak to the entirety of her point, I do feel that she has tapped into an important practical aspect of religious pluralism. If the source of all human religious experience is far greater than the comprehension of mankind, then it only follows that the combined revelations of mankind holistically, paints a fuller picture than when seen through a dichotomy. In other words, we can only gain in our quest to understand and relate to the divine by seeking out and learning from the experiences of others who have touched its essence (I apologize for the constant vacillation of terms in relation to God. It is often difficult when speaking on this matter to confidently choose only one term.). If it is truly ones desire to understand and relate more fully to God, then it seems only natural to seek out others who are like-minded. I understand that this can sometimes be a tricky proposition. Each experience is couched in a religious linguistic tradition, and often those traditions are mutually exclusive. There is, however, a way to sort through the peculiars of each tradition and find the essence of revelation.
The way for this clarity to be found is through relationship. It is only when we commune with others, and our hearts become one, that we can find the essence of the revelation for which they have received. We will of course interpret that revelation through our own tradition, but we will have gained in our understanding of the one who is beyond comprehension.
This post, in many ways, has taken a step back from the ambitious generalizations of my previous ones. As I laid out previously, this was intentional. I have tried to avoid making value judgements on religious traditions. This is not to say that there is no value in doing so. I feel, however, that this is best left to others far more qualified than myself.
As I have taken this journey, being enriched by the experiences of others both within and outside of my tradition, I have often reevaluated the linguistic tradition that I have used to define experiences of God. This I believe is a natural outcome of gaining a further understanding of the God in whom I seek. Sometimes I have found it more difficult than others to understand the heart of religious experience. Specifically, a Buddhist friend comes to mind. It seems the linguistic mountain between us was larger than most. However, I have never been disappointed by the outcome no matter how difficult the journey. Each and every relationship has added a drop to my now ever growing lake of understanding of God. With each drop I am encouraged by the level of intimacy gained, while also humbled at the sheer depth of the impending ocean. My hope is that in sharing the journey that has brought me to where I am today I have better illuminated a path for others who wish to follow. I truly believe in the relevancy of my position for today. At no other time in history has such a great wealth of opportunity for cross religious investigation been prevelant. Because of the modern tools of information sharing, it is easier than ever to gain perspective from other’s experiences. This is not to dismiss the potential risk involved in such excursions, but rather to highlight the possibilities of growth.

